Moved the blog over to ryanmichaelmorgan.com/blog.
Nothing new up there yet, but there will be soon….
(Here’s the feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/RyanMorgan)
Note: If you read this blog and we never met, want to?
See ya around,
[Update, 10/1:] The details of the Jeni’s promotion have changed and are as follows:
Become a Friend of Local Matters during Local Foods Week (October 3-9, 2009) and get Jeni’s Ice Cream.
The first 250 Friends who sign-up to give $10 a month will receive a punchcard for four, buy one, get one free cones, available through September 2010.
The first 250 Friends who make a one-time, $120 gift will receive a punchcard for 12 monthly buy one, get one free cones, also through September 2010. You can sign up to be one of 1000 Friends of Local Matters on the website or in person at Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream in the Short North on Saturday, October 3 from 4:00-10:00 p.m.
(Schedule for the week here.)
Join 1,000 Friends of Local Matters by signing up for $10, monthly donation (or a one-time gift of $120).
You’ll get a punch-card for a free cone once a month for a year.
And you’ll help Local Matters in its mission to make local, healthy, and delicious food accessible to everyone.
Event: Kitchen Tour of Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream
Time: Tuesday, October 6, 4:00-5:30 p.m.
Location: Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream Headquarters and Kitchen
Cost: $20 per person
Registration: (limited to 20 people) call Jeni’s at 614-488-3224
[UPDATE:][UPDATE:] 9/23, 1:18pm
Including local dinners, beer + wine tastings, cooking demonstrations, and a breakfast bike ride… here.
My pops and his pops.
On the back:
[Complete lyrics from the hip hop portion of Dirty Math]
Dear Abby: My father is a businessman who travels.
Each time he returns from one of his trips,
his shoes are covered in blood-
but he never forgets to bring me a nice present;
Should I say something?
Way way back in 73
The States of America all slept sound
Way way back in 73
But in South America some shit went down
There are 8 million stories in the world economy.
Stories of greed, stories of hope,
Stories of men with means and men with ideas,
This is one of them.
Now Milton was a Chi-town math kingpin,
Preachin bout the gods of supply & demand.
If he had it his way the market would lead.
He despised social government and John Maynard Keynes
Okay, down in Chile, Salvador Allende
Won a fair election saying “Fuck you CIA”
An opportunity for Milton Friedman’s machine
When Dick Nixon cried “Make their economy scream!”
So they spent 8 million try ta undermine Allende but they failed that
Too many people had his back
So the military coup starred Pinochet
Who had Milton in his office by noon the next day
Now shit went insane. In the stadiums
They rounded-up 13,000 people
who’d witnessed their evils
Troopers marched in to wave their guns (guns)
3000 dead, many more on the run (run)
Makin big m-o-n-e-y
Had to liquefy the vox populi
Now deruglation is expanded,
It’s commanded to cut social spending, understand it?
Now Chile is a clean slate
Cleared by Pinochet
The Chi-town class-mates’
Ideas ruled the day
Chile fell to poverty
And shock therapy
And human rights disgrace
But people at gunpoint learn to obey
When they’re homeless and hungry and dying away
So the Miracle of Chile was mythologized
And Milton Friedman got the Nobel Prize
You either pay American businesses to build American-style highways and powerplants that your people don’t need, dooming your nation to be forever in debt … or you get ousted by a CIA-organized coup.
Which would you choose?
Some folks live by the laws of the wild
Some learn slower and die in the mud
Some stand up to protest for a while
But that’s when the big dogs chew them up
Now John was a bad man
an Economic hitman
Making cash by makin kings a third world con men
Started with the oil plan
Roosevelt in Iran
And Replaced him with Ike’s man
CIA coup d’etat Arbenz in Guatamala
Victim of the red scare and propaganda
The CIA marched in with 400 troops (hooray!)
Colonialism to protect United Fruit
A few years later down in Panan
John got involved in a shipping drama
Torrijos, the man who controlled the canal
Wouldn’t capitulate to the U.S. cabal
He had had this idea to sell the rights to Japan
But he knew all about what went down in Iran
So he predicted that fate for himself, and sure enough
In August 81 his fuckin plane blew-up
But the one
that blows my mind
Totally on of a kind
Scheme to rob a nation’s people
It was Indonesia, see
Victim of another coup of CIA
Cleansing time once the left was maligned
Shooting lists were distributed
for which they were pentagon armed and suited
OH rivers clogged with bodies OH hell embodied
But who stepped in to stop the massacre – that’s right nobody.
It was all part of the master plan everybody
So hold no grudge
And hold your tongue
This Indonesian story’s far from done
Sure we had the rubber, the copper, and the oil, see
But there was plenty more where that came from
6 years passed
The country’s almost hobblin
So we went back in and sent John the hitman and his staff to ply their stage craft
So it’s an infrastructure
They say the poor need highways and electrics
They’ll be in debt forever
The leaders shoulda known better
For the record don’t think they didn’t profit from the metrics
So kill your national pride
And give into our demands or else
We’ll squeeze your land dry and fill it with ourselves
Do you know what I do?
(If not, check over here.)
I just found out yesterday I’m taking a pay cut. About 7%. Because while what I’m doing is ‘wonderful,’ etc, it’s not producing enough business, fast enough.
You know — that old tension between short-term goals and strategic, long-term growth.
Can’t say it’s too much of a surprise as I’ve been focusing on building relationships rather than pursuing sales for some time now.
(To be fair, this is a shop within a shop I’ve created and to say I’m in it for different reasons would be an understatement.)
(Plus times are tough.)
(Also note how I’m not complaining.)
Still, it caught me off guard a little.
In my experience, you don’t build partnerships with sales pitches, is all. Nor with advertising.
Could just me be, but I don’t think so.
But so here’s where it gets interesting: the amount of the reduction in pay — X — I’m being given the opportunity to use it for quote ‘advertising’ (since my entire budget got the axe last year, which is why you see these all over town, but there was never a next step) to try and increase sales.
(And that the best marketing is often good operations — i.e. doing something worth talking about.)
Operations-wise, everything I do and how I do it — from being mobile and open, to creating e-policies for people since insurance companies won’t — is to help people do what they do, better.
I need a way for more of the right people to find out about what I do. To let them know I want to work with them. Without doing to them what I wouldn’t want done to me.
(Or, tell me what you need and I’ll create the service.)
So what do I do with this money then?
Want to go lunch?
[Update: What Spike says.]
This whole thing was meant to be subjective from the start.
The funniest caption. According to whom?
After a while, though, I started to distrust my own subjectivity. Could I not be dispassionate, truly? Plus who am I and what do I know.
So I did what any practiced shirker of responsibility would do and, instead, opened it up to a distinguished panel of judges. One of them, actually. Only. One judge.
A true arbiter of taste: Diane Warren.
So, without any further ado, I give you our distinguished panel’s selection for the funniest [insert your own caption]:
Congratulations, @danielskreened! You’ll be enjoying $5 off your next meal at the Lessner joint of your choosing! Check your mail.
Note: our distinguished panel unanimously agreed that, with the benefit of a little editing, the winning selection could very well have been the following entry (with a little thoughtful editing) from @mikergray:
@mikergray, DM me your mailing address, and a consolation prize will be on the way.
The original post with all entries has been lovingly restored for your viewing/reading pleasure.
[REALLY important note: it was estimated that this pic was taken about 25 years ago. 4 of these 5 young women still work at Dawson. Without them, I am utterly worthless. I heart them, all.]
Thanks to everybody who played!
Funniest caption gets a $5 gift card to a Lessner joint.
[Note: Ends 1/27.]
[Update, 2/1: This event was postponed on 1/27 due to the snow! We have rescheduled it for this Tuesday, 2/3. Come out!]
[Note: There’s a chance this might be rescheduled so it doesn’t conflict with the COSI Tweetup (thanks for the heads-up @Irene_ExpCols). What do you think? Please weigh in.]
[Update, 1/21, 11:45am: This isn’t going to be rescheduled. Make it happen and come to both, if you can.]
Here’s the deal.
A BUNCH of local businesses were affected by last Saturday’s by the fire in Grandview a couple weeks ago.
There are still a lot of unknowns at this point, in terms of who is going to need what, but one thing’s for sure: people are going to need some help. From us (you and me).
My hope is that we’ll have a coordinated effort underway soon to help ALL the businesses involved, in a meaningful, responsible way.
And that there will be plenty of opportunities to do so.
Until then, however, if you’re looking for a way to help, here’s one fun, social way you can:
When: Tuesday (2/3), from 7 – 19 pm
What: Lounge in the Lab after hours, get to know Steve and Katesha, pour your own custom candle, then, while the wax cools, step next door and enjoy a glass of vino.
How much it’ll cost: $16 (one candle + one glass of wine.)
Why: Because you care.
Never been to The Candle Lab before? Now’s the time. Already a Lab member? Share your love. (Didn’t know you could become a member? Come hither.)
Bring your spouse. Bring your BFF. Bring a neighbor. Invite your twitter and Facebook friends. Come show some love.
If you’re coming, maybe RSVP in the comments, if you want.
[Note: Since this is about supporting local businesses in their time of need, not tools, it’s worth mentioning that being on twitter isn’t a prerequisite for joining us, and neither is blogging or being on facebook, etc. OK?]
In case you weren’t ‘leisure working‘ yesterday, let me bring you up to speed.
Personal insurance is one thing — fine — but direct mail is another.
I promised before I wouldn’t waste your attention or pummel you with messages and I won’t.
Nobody wants that:
Just give me the $ and let me create something that might actually add value, instead.
(As @jonmyers said: but that would be too obvious.)
My goal has been to operate independently and create a new culture from the ground up — something I could believe in.
And I’ve done it.
BUT, brilliant is a boutique division of a traditional insurance agency, still (one of the top 25 independent agencies in Columbus, no less). I got folks to answer to.
but But BUT… as somebody over at the Brains crew said at one point — and I firmly believe — you MUST:
Everything I’ve done so far has been for a purpose.
From whom I do it for: local, independent businesses, creatives, collectives, non-profits, etc — i.e., cultural entrepreneurs.
To how I do it: wherever (I’m mobile), whenever (day, night, week/end), I come to you — just make an appointment.
(That’s IF you want to meet. If you’re too busy or in a pinch, we can do the whole thing via twitter, chat, text, email — whatever you prefer. And you ALWAYS know how to get in touch.)
So here’s what I’m going to do.
I’m going to start handling some personal insurance. On a limited basis. Only by referral.
I will not work with just anybody.
This a boutique: I provide specialized services to select group of clients. I have litmus tests. I am picky.
I underwrite accounts with a curatorial eye. My network of clients reflects that. We work collaboratively towards the common good.
So you have to either already know me, know somebody I’m working with, or else we need to be connected somehow online.
(Likewise, if these conditions apply, you can refer friends.)
I figured out long ago that great clients inspire great service. And I don’t bother feigning impartiality about either. This is the deal.
One last semantic note:
From day one, the adjective in our name was meant to be descriptive of our clients, not us. (Of course.)
I got the idea after doing this gift card.
Between you and me, I’ve always thought of it more in the cheeky, British sense — as in ‘particularly good’ or ‘unusually wonderful.’ Rather than meaning quite literally brilliant.
Think you might be a good fit? Get in touch.
Jami (my wife)
Thank you for joining us at Tip Top Saturday before the show.
(Am I forgetting anyone?)
Plus all the folks we saw later at The Riffe:
(Definitely leaving some folks out.)
As @avltheatre put it:
Thanks to @Jim1Coe for making it happen.
And an Extra Big Thanks to Tim and the rest of the Tip Top crew; it was the Saturday night dinner rush and I was pretty much in the way the whole time; my apologies.
Thanks for being such gracious hosts.
Volume II coming: soon.
When: January 10th — that’s a Saturday — 5:00ish*
*If you want to try and eat (together), a 5:00 arrival is recommended; otherwise, we’ll probably have to split up during the dinner rush and then convene at the bar. If you’re just coming for cocktails, we’ll be there from 5:00ish until 7:30ish.
How much it’ll cost: At Tip Top, you can order anything you want and pay full price for it. Happily. For The Internationalist — and EVERY Available Light show — you can pay what you want.
(Note: tickets are cash only at the door.)
Why: Because it’s good for you.
Please RSVP in the comments so we can keep Tip Top in the loop.
Any questions? Good. See you then.
*Subject to change. (Might have to be 5:00ish.)
[Update, 12/31: Is Available Light Theatre for you?]
[Note: Since this is about culture and community, not tools, it’s worth mentioning that being on twitter isn’t a prerequisite for joining us, and neither is blogging or being on facebook, etc. OK?]